Make Your Kids Your Superheros

In seventh grade, I was a mediocre Junior Varsity cheerleader that dreamed of being an awesome Varsity cheerleader. But when try-outs came and went, I had not made the squad. In the depths of my 13-year-old despair the next morning came the comforting voice of my parents, who talked with me about the situation. They ended up encouraging me to go for the new goal of trying out for the dance team. A strange thing for a pastors daughter, and definitely different from anything they had pictured me doing, but it ended up being one of the most productive experiences of my junior high career. It built confidence, social skills and vital leadership abilities. I became co-captain of the squad, and also made the All-Star team, which gave me the opportunity to be in a parade at Disney World. Both of those experiences would probably have never happened on the talent-stacked cheerleading squad. I owe those great memories to the encouragement of my parents.

Encouragement. Believing in someone. Looking back, I realize that’s something I have always received from my Mom and Dad. I guess I always assumed that everyone had the wonderful privilege of parents who are so supporting. As I got older, I realized that it actually is kind of rare, and it made me realize how special it is that I was able to experience it in my childhood. It brought me to the analyzation of how important it has actually been in my life. I never realized it before. But I truly believe now that it has been one of the main contributing factors to any success I have had in life.

Whenever we were leaving an event, competition, or audition that Mom and Dad were able to attend, I would often ask them the question ‘How did I do?‘ I always tried to convince myself that I would be prepared for an answer that was less than complimentary—prepared if I heard the replies, ‘You really could’ve done that better’, or ‘That was not quite up to par’—that I could handle it. I am very self-analytical in the first place, so all of those thoughts were already bouncing through my head. But if I heard it once, I heard a thousand times, some variation of the response ‘You did great, and you always do great. I am so proud of you.’

Even if the words were simple, there was always such a tone of pride and satisfaction from my parents about my performances. Although there might have been the occasional constructive criticism, I do not ever remember receiving criticism from them, not even one time — not of my school performances, extra-curricular involvements, or other activities. I only remember feeling like I could conquer the world, because of the way they believed in me. I remember the constant feeling and knowing that my Mom and Dad were always proud of me.

My parents made me feel like my brother and I were their superheros.

Even so, there have been times in my life where I have not accomplished everything that I wanted to accomplish.

In high school, I dreamed of performing a piano concerto with a symphony on a big stage in a big dress…as of now, I have yet to play with a symphony (it’s on the life list), but I got really close as runner-up in a regional concerto competition, and later played the piano for thousands of people in multiple big dresses on multiple big stages through my pageant experiences.

With big dreams, I ran in my first peer election as Secretary of the Freshman class. I didn’t win that year, and it was a sure lesson in overcoming disappointment; but the reward for working through the experience and not giving up opened the doors for me to win the elections for Sophomore and Junior class vice-presidents in the years to follow.

As a senior in high school, I dreamed of being a representative to Girls Nation, but fell short as an alternate. Yet in the process, I was a representative at Girl’s State and was voted Attorney General.

That same year I dreamed of being America’s Junior Miss, but never made it. Yet in the process, I did became Montgomery County’s Junior Miss, and placed Top 8 at the state program, giving me my first winnings of scholarship money for college.

I dreamed of being in leadership in Student Government at my university, in which I never quite went as far as I wanted to go. But in my preparation, I became Senior Class President in high school, delivered the speech at my graduation, and planned my 10-year reunion this year.

For that high school graduation, I had the goal of being valedictorian. I didn’t achieve that title, but I did stand second in line as salutatorian.

I dreamed of becoming Miss America. It was a title I never held, but I did get to be Miss Painted Rock and Miss Green Country, and I have a beautiful rhinestone crown that I’ll one day show my daughters. Not to mention some mean scholarship money that went toward my college education.

I dreamed of being first lady, and whether or not I ever get there, I already got to work at the White House.

It was harder to realize while in the middle of them, but I now clearly see that all of those “secondary” experiences are some of the best string of memories of my teenage years. They would have never happened if I did not first believe I could accomplish the biggest goal. And my parents made me believe that I could.

It really puts to light that cheesy-but-true quote “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”

I do not mean these examples to say that you should not shoot for the moon. I am still shooting, and I believe I will one day lasso that moon. What I am saying is that I believe parents should make their child believe that they can shoot a bulls-eye in that moon, and keep on going, because no matter what happens in the process, they will learn so much more than they would have otherwise.

Parents should also be there if they do happen to ‘land among the stars’, helping to show them what a fun place the stars can be in which to dance.

Are there any glasses that you have been looking at half-empty? Have you lately been seeing the dreams that are unfulfilled and fallen, while in the process, overlooking the ones you have accomplished? Today, recognize the things you have done, and see how spectacular they are in and of themselves. Realize that they might not have even been there if it had not been for the bigger dream.

There were plenty of times growing up when I felt down about all of these things I mentioned. Times when I stopped believing in myself. And then, I would talk to my mom. She would remind me that Julia is a dreamer, that Julia is can do all things through Christ, that Julia makes her proud in whatever she does. I would talk to my mom, and come away excited to dream again.

My mom and dad believed in me.

And all my life, they were constant in that. I never heard them talk negative about me, to then apologize and talk well of me again. It was a constant, steady, unchanging support that made me completely believe everything they were saying was true.

They have consistently vocalized their faith in me, even to the point of embarrassment on my part. Many times, I have had to ask my mom to stop talking about me. I recently found out it was even a joke with some of my friends—they would take bets on it, that if they went up to talk to my mom, she would talk about me. Everyone knew she was proud of her kids. And her kids knew it.

My mom made me feel like a superhero—her superhero.

When kids know you are proud of them—when they experience it, and have no doubts in it—you build something in them that supports them for the rest of their life. Even if it embarrasses them, even if they ask you to stop, never stop.

Let me add that as I say these things, I mean them as no slight or judgement to any parent who feels less worthy of these descriptions. I believe each parent who does the best they know to do for their child has nothing in which to be ashamed. My stories here are simply meant to inspire those parents who are in the midst of their child-raising, as mental notes taken from my childhood that I also hope to implement in our family.

I think it just now hit me at about age 29 that it might be harder to conquer the world than I thought. But these entire 29 years, my mom and dad have made me feel that without a shadow of a doubt, the world is mine to take. That I can do it.

As I was shooting for the moon all those times, my mind held the grandest ideas of accomplishing grandiose things. Now, I am a little amazed at my gall to think so big, and wonder how in the world I could even dream like that?? I strongly believe it came from my parents, who never made me question or doubt myself. From parents who didn’t just say they supported me while doubting in their hearts—but from parents who believed everything they were saying so much that they made me believe it. They made me believe I could bulls-eye the moon.

I like where it has brought me. I like where it has me going. I will still keep shooting for the moon. I have more dreams, more mountains to climb. And because of my faith, and this home-grown, momma-fed self-confidence built up in the core of who I am, I believe they will happen.

Thank you, Mom. I love you. Happy Mother’s Day.

Home is where your heart is

Scriptures for your home

God cares about everything that is important to you. E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. Even the things you might think are trivial, or inconsequential — if it is important to you, it’s important to God.

One thing that is important to a lot of people is their home. God must have already known that it would be important to you, because the Bible has a lot to say about it! For the person that fears the Lord, God has even given many promises on the subject.

It is good to read these scriptures, and think on them. It is good to talk to God about them, and use them as a basis for your faith. Anything that God promises to you in His word, not only can you bring it back up to Him — He wants you to do so. He wants us all to believe His word, and trust Him to bring it to pass.

There are desires I have for my home, and, on the basis of these scriptures, I am believing God for them all to come to pass. Proverbs 14:1 says “a wise woman builds her house”, so I am building. What better foundation to build it on than the rock of the Word!

Here’s a list of several scriptures in the Word about house and home; it is by no means an exhaustive list! There are many others in the Bible. Check them out for yourself, and use these as a starting point. Many of the following references I received from Gloria Copeland’s message on believing God for a home. (It is a fabulous message, by the way. You can read an excerpt from it here.)

For many of the scriptures, I have included a few different versions, to give even greater understanding of what each is saying. Keep these scriptures close; remember them for yourself, and share them with a friend who may need the encouragement of God’s promises. I want to hear your testimonies!

• Proverbs 24:3-4

“Through skillful and Godly wisdom is a house, a life, a home, and a family built, and by understanding it is established on a sound and good foundation, and by knowledge shall its chambers of every area be filled with all precious and pleasant riches.” AMP

v 3 “A house…becomes strong through good sense…” NLT

v 4 “By knowledge the rooms are filled…” ESV

v 4 “It takes knowledge to furnish its rooms with fine furniture and beautiful draperies.” MSG

v 4 “…its rooms are filled with every kind riches…” GWT

v 4 “…valuable, beautiful things…” GNT

• 2 Corinthians 9:8

“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.” ESV

“And God is able to make all grace–every favor and earthly blessing–come to you in abundance, so that you may always and under all circumstances and whatever the need, be self-sufficient (possessing enough to require no aid or support and furnished in abundance for every good work and charitable donation.)” AMP

• Isaiah 54:2-3

“Enlarge the place of your tent, and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out; spare not; lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes, for you will spread abroad to the right hand and to the left; and your offspring will possess the nations and make the desolate cities to be inhabited.” AMP

“Make the tent you live in larger; lengthen its ropes and strengthen the pegs! You will extend your boundaries on all sides…GNT

v 3 “You’re going to need lots of elbow room for your growing family…” MSG

• Proverbs 14:1

“Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish one tears it down with her own hands.” AMP

“Homes are made by the wisdom of women…” GNT

“The wisest of women builds up her home, but a stupid one tears it down with her own hands.” GWT

• Psalm 68:6

“He gives the lonely a home to live in…” GNT

“…and gives the desolate a home in which to dwell; He leads the prisoners out to prosperity; but the rebellious dwell in a parched land.” AMP

“God settles the solitary in a home…” ESV

• Psalm 112:1-3

“Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who delights greatly in His commandments. His offspring shall be mighty upon the earth; the generation of the upright shall be blessed. Prosperity and welfare are in his house, and his righteousness endures forever.” AMP

“Blessed man, blessed woman, who fear God, who cherish and relish His commandments, their children will be robust on the earth, and the homes of the upright — how blessed! Their houses brim with wealth and a generosity that never runs dry.” MSG

v 3 “Wealth and riches are in his house…” ESV

• Proverbs 14:11

“The house of the wicked will be destroyed, but the tent of the upright will flourish.” ESV

“…Holy living builds soaring cathedrals.” MSG

These scriptures, while not mentioning house and home directly, also certainly give ground to any desires you may have on the subject:

• Philippians 4:19

“This same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from His glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” NLT

“My God will liberally supply, fill to the full, your every need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” AMP

“You can be sure that God will take care of everything you need; His generosity exceeding even yours in the glory that pours from Jesus.” MSG

• Ephesians 3:20

“to Him who…is able to…do superabundantly far over and above all that we dare ask or think — infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes or dreams…” AMP

• Psalm 37:4

“Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart.” AMP

There are many ways you can ‘build’ your house; there are even more ways you can tear it down. Let’s do the former, not the latter. Build up your house today, by believing the promises of God!

Turtle on a Fence Post

Yesterday, I heard our dog, Knightly, barking in the yard, abnormally more than usual. I went out to check on him and, low-and-behold, he was playing with a rather large turtle. The turtle had, of course, shrunk completely into his shell, as my excited puppy was turning him up and down and all around, totally confused by this moving rock.

A turtle’s natural state is either low to the ground or in the water. It is not unnatural for him to be found in either of these places. But it is, however, very unnatural to see him on any raised place — any high ground.

“Anytime you see a turtle on top of a fence post, you know he had some help.” -Alex Haley

Are you familiar with this quote? Chances are probably ‘yes’. It is a saying that speaks on many levels. Our pastor recently preached a wonderful sermon about it, and God brought all that up to me as I thought about Knightly with the turtle, and saw it in the light of Mother’s Day.

None of us have achieved any of our accomplishments in life of our own accord. It may feel like you worked for that promotion, and it truly may be that your talents and skills won that award. Yet, there were other hands behind the forming of that work ethic, and many teachers behind those talents and skills.

Christ is the ultimate help, as our redeemer and the lifter of our heads. Any fence post upon which we ever sit is a result of Him setting us there. What have we in this life that is not from Him, to Him, and for Him? (1) What talent, what gifting, what skills? What relationships, what blessings, what health? The ability to breathe life in and out; the blessing of having light in our souls instead of darkness — we can claim none of it as of our own accord, and to do so is to deny the God of Heaven. (2)

There is another saying that I like: “It takes a village to raise a child”. The ‘villagers’ are those God uses to help get us up on that fence post.

One of the main people He uses is also one of His ultimate blessings — a mom. Three little letters, but what a big word! What an enormous impact on each of our lives that name has had! Maybe yours is not your natural mother, or birth mother. Maybe she is a grandmother or a mentor, but for all of us there is a woman whose predominance in our lives has shaped and molded us into the people we are today.

Take some moments today to recognize those ‘villagers’ to whom you owe a great debt of gratitude. Truly be thankful as you think on them, and be sure to express it in tomorrow’s celebration. (3) Be humble enough, and small enough in your own eyes, to understand that you are a product of the love and care of the “village” around you. Without Him, without them, and without our moms, we would not be much to ‘write home about’.

Also, in our pursuit of reaching the top of the fence post, remember to always take the opportunities to be someone else’s “village”, too. Don’t be a greedy turtle. There are enough fence posts out there for all of us! In fact, the view is even better when we have others with which to share it.

The turtle? Me. The village? My Father God, my parents, and all who have supported, encouraged and believed in me over the years. But today, it is my mom.

(1) Romans 11:36 ESV “For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things, to Him be glory forever. Amen.”

(2) Acts 17:28  ESV “In Him we live and move and have our being…”

 (3) Colossians 3:15 GNT “…be thankful.” 

Proverbs 31: 28-31 NLT “Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all! Charm is deceptive and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.”